Final Goodbyes

"We are never prepared for what we expect."
- James A. Michener

Figured I'd finish in the language I've been hearing for the past 9 months. The language that holds the memories of one hell of a year.

296 days ago I set foot in the U.S., not having a clue what was ahead of me.
I expected to learn a bit more about who I am, by putting myself in completely new surroundings. See who I would be when nobody knew who I was. Not having to fit into the mold I built that my friends and family were used to. I expected to grow up and gain a sense of independence I hadn't experienced before. I expected to meet people with views different from the ones I was accustomed to.

What I didn't expect was that after these 10 months I'd still have no clue of who I am. Still unable to attach characteristics to myself that I completely identify with. Too indecisive to define myself on any level. And that's okay.
What I didn't expect was that the sense of independence would come hand in hand with a kind of recklessness that got me into some surprising situations that turned into new experiences. Some better than others.
What I didn't expect was that I'd meet people that'd change my perception of the world. People that inspired new interests. People that made leaving this place one of the hardest things I've had to do.

Back to where I left off,
The weekend of our sorority formal was insanely fun.
A little too much fun I guess. The resort we stayed at charged us so much for the 'damage' we had left and the 'inconvenience' we had caused that Delta Chi ended up with $12,000 in fines.
Totally worth it if you'd ask me.

And then there were only two weeks left of school. We had to say goodbye to the seniors in Delta Chi that were graduating this year and, of course, I had to say goodbye to everybody else too since I wouldn't be coming back either. I spent my last nights hanging out with Max and Emily, trying to see as many people as I could before everyone would leave the campus. 

Eventually, that day arrived. On Thursday morning I had to stuff a year of my life into two suitcases (It was a struggle let me tell you). Slightly hungover and extremely rushed I checked out of the only 'home' I'd known for the past year and said goodbye to my roomie Erika. I never expected to get along with her as much as I did. Within her 1,50m little Mexican body hides a hilarious kid that comes home with the craziest stories every weekend. I'm gonna miss having her there to limitlessly vent my problems to, only to get a response that usually implied I was being stupid. Which I was.
I'm glad I won't have to live with anyone who cracks her knuckles that much anymore though. 

After I left our dorm building, Westerlin, for the last time, me and Mollie headed of to our next stop: OΣO formal. A friend of ours, Dan, invited the both of us to come along since he didn't see why it'd be a problem to bring three dates instead of one. We managed to sneak into ZΦK's formal while we were there and surprised Erika. We got kicked out real quick though. The Zeta's weren't too happy that "those Delta Chi's that trashed a resort" were trying to crash their party. 

After two exhausting days of formal we got the perfect break by staying at a lakehouse in Normal, IL for a week. Elise, a friend of ours and Mollie's big, was so nice to have us over for the week and make us smoothies and Noodles on demand. We spent the days swimming, kayaking, boating and watching Netflix on her couch. We also went to the movies a couple times ($6 for a ticket, it was amazing) and made a day trip to St.Louis, Missouri where we visited the city museum, which is basically a giant playground.  

On Sunday, Elise took us back to Rock Island to pick up some luggage we left behind and sort our stuff out. The next day I made my last walk around campus. It's crazy how attached you can become to a certain place even when it's deserted. That afternoon, Mollie and I said goodbye to Elise and got on a bus to Chicago: my final destination before flying home.  

We stayed at an Airbnb apartment in the Ukranian village. While being in the city we managed to meet up with quite a few people. On Tuesday we saw Haimi, the girl from Ethiopia who went to New York with us over fall break. On wednesday we went to North Avenue beach, saw some High schoolers getting arrested for underage drinking and met up with Claudia, another Delta Chi. That evening another friend of ours, Kevin, drove up to Chicago and took us out to dinner at Portillo's. A famous Chicago hotdog place. I had a Chocolate Cake shake and it was great.
And finally, on thursday Maggie came to visit. It was really nice to get to see her before I left. I wish I could've been there next year to torture the new pledges and get a little of my own. 

On Friday me and Mollie headed down to Wicker Park for dinner and made a last walk through Chicago. The next day Mollie took the bus back to Rock Island where she will stay another week before flying back to Sweden. I took a cab to O'hare and started my journey back home. 

I don't think I've ever been this happy about a decision I made. I would go back and do it all over again in a heartbeat. I've been emailing with some prospective CSP'ers and can't help but feel jealous that they have this whole experience ahead of them. I'm going to miss that little bubble in the shithole that is Rock Island like hell. Hopefully I'll get to come back someday.

I guess that's it.
Now onto a summer filled with travels and a whole lot of catching up on everything I missed out on back home. Next year we'll start all over again, this time on familiar grounds.

Before I left I promised myself I was going to put having fun as my first priority. And God, has it been fun.

Liefs,
Hester